OIB essay practice no°2 student samples

Maryam OIb Practise essay (09_29_2020)



Cyrielle de Ponnat T°B – Essay practice n°2

Debora THERA OIB comparative essay September 29thGIACOMOTTO_Angelina_02-10



N.B. A short response may require assessment to be lowered.


Category Below Level
-0.5 or more at the discretion of the examiner
Level 0 Level 1
+ 0.5
Level 2
+ 1.0
Level 3
Level 4
Knowledge & Understanding No true understanding or first-hand knowledge shown. Factual inaccuracies void argument. Some understanding but superficial. Learned response replaces
first-hand knowledge. Factual inaccuracies affect argument.
Satisfactory understanding and knowledge. Development may be limited with some inadvertent or minor factual inaccuracies. Good overall understanding.
Knowledge is full and developed.
Very good and thorough understanding, including some subtlety. Levels of meaning are apparent.  Excellent understanding, including some subtlety.  Levels of meaning are apparent. Detailed and pertinent knowledge.
Response to
the Question
Off-subject or no clear response discernible. Observation, commentary or opinion may be present but no attempt to form an argument. Response is partial or muddled. Argument is directed at the question but may be confused or superficial. A satisfactory response to the main implications of the question. Some aspects of the question may be ignored. A good response. Argument addresses the question but may need more development. A very good response. Argument is complete and well-targeted,
and the question is well-understood. 
An excellent response. Argument demonstrates original thought and addresses the question with clarity and depth.
& Depth(Includes discussion of style at Level 2 and above)
Plot summary or generalizations dominate. No successful attempt at analysis. Plot summary or generalizations frequent. Little or unsuccessful analysis. Inconsistent analysis that does not always address important elements.
Analysis may be uneven or lacking in depth.
Good analysis that appropriately addresses important elements. Generally appropriate analysis of style illustrated by relevant examples. Very good analysis. Thoughtful, pertinent analysis of style. Excellent analysis
and argumentation. Insightful,
sophisticated and
coherent analysis of style. 
of the Essay
& Integration
of Evidence
No logical sequence of ideas. Chronological confusion. Development is so inadequate that clarity is in danger of dissolving completely. Weak or mechanical structure. Development is barely adequate and examples are either impertinent or lack clear connection to the argument. Satisfactory structure and development. Sequence of ideas generally logical. Examples not always pertinent and integration may be awkward. Good structure with some transitions. Sequence of ideas logical. Examples are generally pertinent and most often integrated appropriately. Very good essay structure with solid transitions. Clear development throughout and good integration of supporting evidence. Excellent essay structure with clear transitions. Carefully planned, persuasive development throughout. Sophisticated integration of supporting evidence.
Expression Meaning often cannot be surmised. The essay is very difficult to read. Prose can be read and
its meaning surmised even if hampered by weak control (or French interference).
Prose conveys the writer’s ideas adequately. Vocabulary is sufficient and notions of good English usage are evident if sometimes inconsistently applied. Prose shows evidence of good writing skills. Lapses are minor and do not impede understanding.  Some care is shown in word choice and register. Prose is clear and coherent. A rare lapse does not mar ideas or flow. Effective use of vocabulary and register. Prose is articulate,
fluid, and displays an excellent command of written language. Sophisticated use of vocabulary and register.

Adopted Nov 2015 OIB

Biblical allusions/allegory in A Separate Peace

Garden of Eden

-opening of the book : description of the tree-enormous, dark, foreboding

-the school itself is described like a paradise

-when Gene jounces the limb—moment of original sin/temptation/evil

–“the fall” from paradise/Eden — loss of innoncence

-Gene wants to “have the knowledge” because he is competitve in school and is jealous of Finny

“The beach shed its deadness and became a spectral gray white. Then more white, then gray, and finally it was totally white and stainless, as pure as the shores of Eden. Phineas still asleep on his dune, made me think of Lazarus, brought back to life by the touch of God”


Phineas as a Christ figure

pg 105 ” I lost part of myself to him, then a soaring sense of freedom revealed that this must have been my purpose from the first — to become a part of Phineas”

“I believe you it’s okay”

wave imagery/water imagery: baptismal imagery

-Finny breaks the swimming record but doesn’t want to show anyone — like Jesus’ miracles, Jesus’ humility

-“Phineas had been sitting, motionless, leaning slightly forward –not far from the position in which we prayed at Devon”

-trial = judgement day?

-resurrection= when Finny comes back to school after his first fall? –Carnaval?

-Finny’s death –Gene must “carry on” sees himself as an extension of Phineas/is not sad

-“God like” death on white marble stairs?




Literature Response Chapter 1 • Pg. 60-107 (Kindle Loc. 69-116)

Literature Response Chapter 1 • Pg. 60-107 (Kindle Loc. 69-116)

Answer the questions below in complete sentences.


VOCABULARY: discontented, tether, beacon, essence






adj., unhappy…unless you want to lure the discontented undead.

v. connect with rope- Ghost cruise ships tether here on Día de los Muertos.

n. a light set up as a signal…a beacon to light the ghost ships safely to port.

n. the main part, idea or feeling of a thing or person- …they absorb the essence of the world breathing around them.




  1. What is an ofrenda and who does Maya’s family create one for? 
  2. What do Maya and Carlos collect on the ground outside?
  3. How does Carlos get Cat to agree to go on the ghost tour?
  4. Name one landmark Carlos shows the girls during the ghost tour and mention one detail about it.
  5. According to Carlos, why do ghosts like wind?
  6. In the hospital, the doctor says Maya’s coughing attack was probably brought on by the cold. Why does Cat think it happened?




  1. When Carlos asks Maya what she’d like to ask a ghost, what does she say? Why do you think this is the question she has? 
  2. Compare Cat’s reaction to the ghosts with Maya’s. How does each sister feel about them?
  3. Take another look at the excerpt below to see Cat’s reaction to her sister’s question for the ghosts. How does the second panel show how Cat feels about what she just said?




  1. Cat’s parents blame her for Maya’s coughing attack. They say she should have brought Maya’s medicine with if they were going on a hike. Some people would say it’s a lot of responsibility to put a kid in charge of a younger sister’s medication. What do you think? Have you ever been given an important job but then made a mistake? What happened? Did you feel bad about it like Cat does, or did you have different feelings?